it doesn’t make sense

It doesn’t make sense, but I know God spoke it.  What to do?  That very thing.

I am freshly reminded today of the high I’m on when I walk in step with the Holy Spirit and do the hard thing.  Yes, I still wrestle with the Lord and try to convince Him with a sweet, “I’d rather not.”  But, there is a drive within me to obey.  The flesh says, “No, it’s not comfortable, and I can’t do that.”  However, the Spirit says, “This is gonna be fun!  God Almighty is here to accomplish it through you!”

Don’t get me wrong.  It doesn’t feel like fun when wrestling with God; it feels like fear.

I think any of us on this side of failure to obey can identify with the regret that weighs on us.  I will transparently share my own massive failure that trained me to not make the same mistake again.

I went on my annual 4th of July trip to visit my friend in Georgia knowing that there was a heaviness in her community.  For two years, her friends and neighbors were trusting the Lord for a healing of their 4-year old who was battling cancer.  After every medical solution was sought and acted upon, and yet the aggressive disease remained, the doctors sent him home without any hope.

The large neighborhood and extended community had stood faithfully alongside of this lovely family during the lengthy trial and came together in that dark hour to hold a prayer vigil on their front lawn.  I flew down that very day knowing that I would be a part of the gathering along with my friend.  I was amazed at the number of people who came out.  We gathered for worship and then broke into small groups to pray for the family and their son who remained isolated from the crowd.  They did not want to expose their precious boy to any contagions that may further compromise his delicate state.  We prayed, and I felt an anointing of God to go and lay hands on the child, but I resisted.  As the prayer vigil ended, and we all dispersed, I was still overcome by God’s power to the point that it took effort to walk.  I told my friend what I knew I was supposed to do, and she encouraged me to go back to the house with her so I could do what God was impressing upon my heart to do.  “No,” I said…

We got back to her house, and she still said, “Let’s go back.”

Do you know why I so stubbornly refused?  Because I had never done anything like that before.  My mind couldn’t conceive the purpose in praying for the boy because I failed to look at the God who not only CAN heal but is WILLING to heal, and I refused to allow Him to work through me.

Would the outcome of the boy’s life have been different if I had obeyed?  I can’t answer that now, but one day, I’ll know for sure.  So, I charge you and myself to do the hard thing, especially those things that do not make sense.  We need to surrender our will and limited understanding and trust God for the equipping and the results.

Interesting Biblical perspective from my daily reading today:  Jonathan gets a wild hair (1 Samuel 14:6-17).

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