a battle of the wills

Have you ever had that feeling of warring within yourself? You know, when your thoughts and attitudes are not holy and everything in you hurts, but there is no quick release from the battle?  When you and I decide to escape the struggle and not endure it, we ultimately are calling upon God to grant us His “permissive will.” He will allow us to escape hardship through our own unwillingness to endure it. He knows the plan to reroute us further down the road, so He patiently says, “You can learn this spiritual truth now or later. It’s your choice, but know you will learn it!”

My personal advice? Stick with the struggle and deny the flesh’s pursuit of escaping it. Keep focused on Jesus, and revelation will come! To ignore this advice is to experience the regret of failure to trust God. I know. I wish that I could change my actions in the past, particularly a time when I refused to be uncomfortable even though I knew that God desired to make His name known great through my obedience. I let my flesh rule in that hour, and now there is no going back to remedy the situation. Repentance was my only course of action. I decided to change from my self-consumed motives when I asked the Father to give me another chance.

Another chance is another opportunity to walk in God’s perfect will.  We identify this place of obedience when everything in us hurts because we said “yes” to His calling.  Our pride hurts, our self-preservation hurts, our image-making hurts. There is a dying to self, and it doesn’t feel good. We feel under-qualified; we think that perhaps God misread the phone book and dialed the wrong number.

Things honestly don’t make perfect sense in the perfect will of God.

Never would we have imagined our lives going this way, and now we are at risk of being grossly misunderstood by our family and friends.

Have you been there? Have you had the certainty in your spirit that God said “Go,” but you don’t have the faintest clue how to get there?

Congratulations! You answered the call to faith!

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see (Hebrews 11:1).

And without faith it is impossible to please God… (Hebrews 11:6).

My blind “yes” to God was in answering the call to run for a city school board seat four years ago. Through stepping into the will of God I became exposed and completely aware of my insufficiency. Isn’t that the perfect place to be? It may not feel perfect; in fact, it doesn’t even feel good. But that’s the point – I ran to the Father for everything! Desperation is a great condition of heart for learning the faithfulness of God. The one thing I feared most about being vulnerable before the public did indeed happen. Individuals mocked and criticized me, but guess what? I survived because of the covering of the Almighty.

The result? My faith in Him is now at a greater level. I’m like a high-jumper beating my own personal record and going to greater heights with God. I’m living in times of greater exposure and greater potential for public criticism, but we worked on that spiritual truth four years ago.

Seek out the Father’s perfect will like Jesus always did and have His same testimony: “I only do what I see my Father doing.” Allow God to grow you by trusting Him with your blind “yes.” Better to go unseeing into the future with God than to look back on your past and see the misfortune of your “no” when He called.

2 Comments on “a battle of the wills”

  1. This is such a good post with such a powerful message. I hope you don’t mind but I quoted you in my blog today, August 8. “Desperation is a great condition of heart for learning the faithfulness of God.” May we grasp this important truth! Thank you for putting your thoughts to keyboard! May God use them to encourage those who find themselves facing challenging decisions today.

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